Parenting

Toddlers often throw temper tantrums. Whether or not you have a child, we have all seen one crying and screaming in a public place, the parents frantic to calm the child down. But allowing your child to get you worked up will not help alleviate the situation. In fact, it can make the tantrum worse. There are certain tricks that will help parents to deal with a child who is acting out. Some of these methods may even prevent a tantrum or at least lessen the severity and frequency of which your child has tantrums.

 

1. Caring and Acceptance: It is important to show your child that you love him or her at all times, especially when they are throwing a tantrum. This demonstrates that your love is unconditional. Give your child lots of positive attention, frequent praise, and affection. Tantrum or not always keep the environment positive and full of love and make sure that you have more interactions of love than of punishment. Try using positive reinforcement of behaviors as opposed to punishments. Always let your child know that you care and that you accept them for who they are. Toddlers are individuals too. They will not be just like you and will not respond to things just as you would. Respect your child’s developing personality. Encourage your child to be confident with who he or she is. This may help prevent your child from acting out in the future.

2. Rules: It is easy to forget that a toddler is too young to understand the many rules that are often out in place for them, but it is important to remember that your child doesn’t think the way you do. Just because something makes sense to you doesn’t mean it will make sense to your child. Don’t inundate your child with an overabundance of rules. Figure out which ones are most important and make sure your child understands those few rules. They should be rules that relate to safety. As your child becomes more comfortable with the rules and restrictions and demonstrates an understanding and obedience of them, you can begin to add more rules, once again keeping in mind which ones are the most important to add first and not adding too many at once.

3. Routine: Make sure to have a daily schedule and stick to it. This will help to avoid confusion for your toddler. You child will know what to expect with each day and that can help to prevent acting out. If your child knows the rules and has had experience with them working out in the past, they will be more willing to follow them again the next day. That is why it is important to remain consistent. And this is true for each caregiver. If you child is under the care of another person for a day, make sure the stick to the same schedule, rules, and reinforcements as you do so that your child is not surprised and won’t respond negatively to an abrupt change.

4. Communication: Encourage your child to express him or her self using his or her words instead of bad behaviors. Instead of simply stating the rules, explain what they are, how to follow them, and why they are in place, making sure to speak in a way that the toddler will understand. Keep the lines of communication open and allow your child to ask questions and engage with your explanation of the rules. This will help to ensure their full understanding. If they express a dislike for the rules, that it okay. Simply explain to the child why the rule is important and why it is important to sometimes do things you don’t want to do. Model good behavior for your child and suggest ways for the child to follow the rules in case they are unsure of what to do.

5. Situational Tantrums: Understand that your child has limits. Do not keep a child in a situation that might encourage him or her to act out. Avoid situations that might frustrate your child, such as an outing that goes on for too long and is physically draining for the child. Be prepared for a tantrum and do not react negatively when a child refuses to obey your rules. Toddlers will say no from time to time but you must remain calm and stick to your rules without overreacting. Find alternatives for your child and do not use no too often. Try to find a way for good behavior to be fun. If your child gets into a pattern where all he or she hears is no, the child will be less inclined to follow the rules. Make is so that the rules offer a positive experience.

6. Consequences: Sometimes, however it is not possible to avoid a tantrum and you will need to enforce consequences. Remember to keep the consequences consistent and to maintain a distinction between consequences and punishment. Do not punish your child by yelling at them or spanking them. Provide logical and situational consequences that make sense to the child and do not do emotional or physical harm to the child. For instance, so long as it is not dangerous, you can let a situation play out so that your child can see the natural consequences of his or her actions, such as not sharing a toy will sometimes mean that others will not share with you. If a child acts out, take away the thing that is causing them to act out. If all else fails, you can try a timeout, either for your child or you from your child, meaning that you will not respond to the child for a given period of time.

 

Remember that the biggest key is to stay positive. Responding negatively to a child will only make the situation worse. You do not want to teach a child that bad behavior begets more bad behavior. Provide a good example and keep your responses upbeat.

 

Image by GrazerX on Flickr Creative Commons.